Ok. Let me make this clear! This is going to be a very depressing blog! Not one of those, Hey, I am feeling really down man!! blogs, this is brutal, this is of massive depressing proportions!
This blog also calls all those who are deeply depressed in a deep depression of a depressed cloud of paranoiac Depressia! We need to join our hands (not one of those Siamese twins thingy!) and if possible our depressed heads, noses, ears and even the left part of our depressed kidney and come together to spread across the message of 'beautiful depression'! We need to be one for all and all for one, if that made any horse-shit-analogous-sense! Let's fly high the reddish black flag of profound depression and make lives of people around us highly depressing! We shall name our club/team/fool's-gathering as 'Deeply Depressed Dance of Death' or 4-D and if that name is not cool, then Hrithik Roshan is gay (He is gay anyways!)
Now, I have chalked down some action items, of how to get people around you depressed:
1. As soon as the Burj Tower @ Dubai gets completed (September 2009'), get on top of it, tie a iron bell to your neck weighing more than 100 pounds, make sure you jump with your legs on top and your depressing face facing downwards. You should crash down and turn into depressing red rubbles. This will make the millionaires in Dubai highly depressed and the Americans will nuke the Tower.
2. You need to make a trip to Africa, meet and befriend some Bantu speaking tribes, stay with them and become buddy-buddy! Then at exactly 11:00 p.m. at night, shout "Hora Hora, Bikunggi Tabahara, Pakri Pakri Demakush" and throw six coconuts at them and start running for your life. Make sure, you don't look back. These people will get so maddeningly frustrated at not being able to decipher a shit of what you shouted, that they'll follow you for exactly twenty two minutes, make your life miserable by shouting slangs at you of which you won't know a dog-shit! This will really make these tribes depressed and they'll call each other the N-word for the rest of their lives.
3. Catch hold of a smiling Japanese businessman, a smiling Chinese businessman and a highly depressed American businessman. Tie all of them together to smelly poles painted with Koala Beer's piss! Now, stick an empty bottle of Kingfisher Beer into the mouth of the American and let the Chinese and Japanese abuse each other. Trust me, the American will be so mighty depressed that he might choke to death out of Neocohntraic-ChingungEff'emall-Dirtyeffers-depressed syndrome!
4. Finally, you need to give a LSD dosage to your neighbor's dog. Make sure the dosage is more than 500 micrograms and thereby causing major psychotropic effect on the canine. The dog should go into perennial depression and eat only monkey brains for the rest of it's life. Make sure it never stops crying and bites its master thrice every day as it stays uber-high all the time!
P.S: There won't be any customary N.O.M here. All offense meant!
Perfection! Oh, how we run after it! Like a poor, innocent kid running after his broken kite in a breezy evening, as the kite flies away far out of the kid's reach-n-sight!
Painting the perfect picture where you can successfully capture all possible human emotions! Somewhere, most of the times, we miss the trick, we miss that Da Vinci touch! ..just.. *sigh*
Giving that perfect pass, piercing the defenders, in a football match! Zizou had a blemish remember, that head and that butt! err, I mean head-butt! :-D So, he ain't GOD! *sigh*
Fretting with a perfection, making sure you don't leave any chord as you try to play your favorite Pink Floyd number! See, Gilmour was born to enchant us with his amazing voice, on-stage el casuale histrionics with his six strings! We won't be that flawless, after all! :) *sigh*
Finding your perfect love, the dream girl or the dream guy! Ahh, there we go! The day-dreams, ohh, the night dreams too! Wake up friends, it doesn't work that way! :) *big sigh*
Having a perfect day! Well, many would argue, come on dude, I had a perfect day many times! But, wait, isn't that relative? Think again! :D *compressed sigh*
Cooking the perfect food! The most delicious one! No offence to Moms, even that is kinda 'not possible'. Ok, am being a bit cynical now! *no sigh*
Delivering that perfect speech? The crowd erupts and chants your name repeatedly! An encore! Naah, doesn't happen! Get up, pick your sandals, rub your face off because the tomatoes and potatoes don't really give you a sexy look, you see! :-P *sigh*
A perfect relationship! Gimme a break, or maybe two breaks! Superman and superwoman anybody? Ahh, what do we call those tales where fairies are involved? ohh, stupid me, FairyTales! :-D *big sigh*
A perfect blog? I will wait for that day, when I get the comment, 'Dude, this was a perfect blog'. Not really, I won't wait for that day! ..the day that never comes.. *sigh*
Live life man! Get satisfied man!
Leave the 'Kingsize' bit to SRK and his over-the-top movies! :)