Ohh Balm Ahh ...Who?! What?!

Well, this is like those status update mails you send to your manager while your watch reminds you that you have just ten minutes left to catch the company bus for home.

This is also probably like one of those flying kites-on-the-moon sagas where you know very well that the kite won’t fly or maybe it would and you would wake up holding your forehead in a bitter hangover. After all, ten bottles of ‘Red Bull’ doesn’t necessary give you the energy to run a 50 KM marathon. A disgusting but highly confusing hangover is a more reasonable after-event. I think you got the point. Or maybe you didn’t. But, that doesn’t make any difference whatsoever to your boring life or to understand this blog.

Okay, what was my intent of writing this blog? Let me get started. Yes, finally!

Ballack Obama! Or whatever his name is, I am not really concerned. I am tired to the point of choking myself to death by inserting the entire Hanging Garden of Babylonia into my mouth. Who the buck is he? No, seriously, is he changing the world? Has he promised to do so? How are you so sure about it? Or even on a more basic level, is he the President of the World or just Ukraine? Or whichever country he belongs to?

My problem lies with these Indians. Okay, okay, ‘we’ Indians! Why the buck are we so concerned about this Osama guy? Err…that was the guy who bombed America and escaped right?! The clever terrorist! I hate the guy. He keeps on coming on television and threatens the Americans openly. Man, isn’t he brave? The confusing thing is, who captures the guy on camera? Why the buck doesn’t he know where he is or where this Osama is? Is he on some expired defective cannabis?

Oops, I am sorry, I diverted myself from that Obama guy. I heard he was good at painting and all, in his childhood days. People say, he is not white, he is coloured, now, whatever that means!

We Indians are so obsessed with the Americans (yeah, I just wikied and updated my knowledge-base). Why are we not bothered about our President? I remember the MTV Roadies Show, where spare one female contestant, none had the faintest idea who our President was. Ask them about America and uhmm…well…they are too dumb to even know that! It is a very strange situation. People all over the country (or is it World?!) getting hyper-excited about this Obama guy becoming President of America and delivering a stellar speech and all. I mean, come on, the Abrahams, Kennedys and Clintons gave stellar speeches. What is the big deal NOW with this guy? Just because he is colored? Can’t we just let it be? Some Bocardo Alfanso Timur Junior from the untamed Amazon Basin can go and become the President of Russia! How does it matter? Don’t we have better things to do? Don’t we have more important things to take care of? Like, say, handling the bomb-blasts situation at Mumbai!

Ohh, an update on that situation! I heard we have taken the ‘samples of those blasts’ into some frozen underground lab at South Pole and covered ‘em with Grizzly bear skins so that they become disgusting for the Pakistanis to steal or even contemplate on stealing. Yeah, that’s about it on that front. We have sent beautiful flowers and greeting cards to our friends at Mumbai and asked ‘em not to fear! ‘Be brave, we are there’, has been the message! Beautiful, moving and very thought-provoking I should say.

Yeah, so that’s about it on the Borat Obama Martins front or whatever his name is!

On a personal front, I’ve been overloaded with truck-loads of work. I need to carry truck-loads of metamorphic rocks from Jaipur to Calicut everyday. Stop staring, it is a stupid metaphor, try to feel my pain!

I seriously need a break. Maybe, a peaceful trip to the Himalayas where I can meditate peacefully while playing Iron Maiden on full blast will really help me! Apart from that, I don’t have anything that will excite you or your dull existence, so you can get back to what you were doing or not doing or trying not to do.

Okay, so who is our president, again?! :)


...Done and Dusted with 08!...

Wohh! Nine days already into the new year of
Two Oh Oh Nine, and I finally get some time to scribble some good and bad stuffs about the previous year and feel good and bad about it respectively. Ok, honestly, I am plain lazy! I can be so lazy that sometimes I wish the bottle of water kept at a distance of exactly three feet away from me now, just flies and reaches me! OK, let’s not get into that part, some of my wishes can freak people out, way too disturbing!

Ahh, 2008 is no more! First of all, a minute of silence for the same *R.I.P 2008*! I think If I try to summarize the previous year in one word, I would use legen……..wait for it……..dary. Why legendary? No, I didn’t win a lottery ticket! No, I didn’t get a limousine free with a small sachet of a Surf Excel washing powder. No, I didn’t get married to Angelina Jolie or Natasha Henstridge. I was just introduced to the most amazing sitcom mankind had ever heard of/seen. ‘How I met your mother’! Yess! Absolutely brilliant stuff! Talking of sitcoms, I downloaded and scraped through a few more like ‘Coupling’, ‘Southpark’,’Weeds’,’30 Rock’ and even revised episodes of ‘That 70’s Show’. Most of these have permanently taken a very special part in some corner of ma heart!

Learnt the guitar! That’s an achievement; I wasted a lot of time not learning it! That was stupid of me! Very stupid! Thanks to my ex-roomies Ravi and Mondeep, this was possible. I’ll try my best to continue the good process and learn some neat lead, buy a capo, and by year end, I should be able to play ‘Hotel California’ quite flawlessly! Ohh, looks like Resolution One!

I managed to write 22 external blogs; now that is really a small number compared to the number of posts written for my internal corporate blog. I’ll try my best to improve on that number this year. And there’s going to be a huge number of absolutely senseless, highly sickening, psychedelic and irrational posts, I swear! Jeez, Resolution Two it seems!

We ‘Soccer Saturday-Infosys’ almost won a Soccer Tournament, but NO, almost is far far away from WINning it! Guess what, who missed ‘that’ penalty kick that denied us the trophy? Yes, your highness! *takes a deeply disgusted and shameful bow*. I’ll really love to win a trophy this year with my team. Godammit, Resolution Three it seems!

I bought my mean mean gaming machine way back in May, 2008! And guess what, I’ve hardly played any high-end games! Who has the time man, to be mean! I mean, to be sitting-in-front-of-the-mean-machine and play some mean mean high-end-graphics games!! Really sad! Here, I would like to apologize to my GeForce 8600 GT in front of everybody and promise her that I am going to play with her this New Year, a lot! And yes, there goes my resolution Four!

I got into a really good project, learnt a lot of stuffs, and got a chance to work from my client location, though the place is just 20 minutes away from my company. :) I hate the fact, that time is almost up and I’ll have to go back to Infy, really enjoyed the stay ova here, contrary to what I initially anticipated! No, resolutions here!

There are a 1000 other things that kept me occupied, a 10,000 other things that could have kept me occupied and half a million other things that didn’t keep me occupied last year! I don't really remember all of 'em. I'll just leave Black-n-White faded memory scraps below.

The Joker-The Mega Rock Concert-The Typhoid Days-The sad days of Arsenal Football Club-The sad industry-We beat the Aussies-Rick Wright passes away-My first original composition-The visit to Don Bosco NGO-The Terrorist attacks-The Media Seminar-Some lovely memories-Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy-Sorry Bhai-Red Whine-etc-etc-memory fades away

Have an amazing new year, everybody!
And yeah, don’t love/trust anybody more than yourself! :-) You are precious!