Here’s an important message for you ladies, and you gentlemen and you immature guinea pigs and don’t feel disgusted my brothers, it’s also for you little baffled navy-green tadpoles.
The message is simple and clear or you can say clearly simple or maybe even simply clear, it’s all upon you, how you interpret it!
Whenever, now carefully get your ear-drums close to my mouth-piece, I was saying, whenever you feel something’s wrong happening to you, something is going absolutely out of your hand, or say something that is not happening as per ‘expected results’, you can just go ahead, drink 125 ml of cold water, flash a wry smile and blame the mishap on Sir.QLC.
Okay, I can see the right hand of yours slowly moving towards the back of your head, trying to scratch, quite simply, the back of your head, well, DON’T DO THAT! Yes, I know, I hardly made sense in the past, I am not making much sense right now, and I am not going to make any sense in the near future or even in the year 3223 A.D.,but still, for this one time, listen to me. So, the point that I was trying to make is, these mishaps are not a fault of yours, you have absolutely no hand in it, or even your left nostril with no offense whatsoever to your right nostril. These are all manipulated by our not so beloved Sir.QLC. Efficiently planned, neatly designed, and proficiently executed with incredible panache! Sir.QLC works with supreme charisma, ruthless in his attitude and carrying an unforgiving demeanor which surely makes your life, hell!
Okay, now before you get all excited about this so called Sir. QLC, it is time to call your mom or check your birth-certificate or even ask your best-friend about a certain thing and that thing my dear friend, is your age. If you have celebrated your 24th birthday already or you are some days away from celebrating your disgusting 26th one, then you are the CHOSEN ONE. You are in ‘that’ phase of your life, where Sir. QLC offers you a helping hand much to your disgust and dismay. Who sends Sir.QLC to you? Well, that GUY whom we call ‘GOD’ or something, has a machine that produces millions of Sir.QLC’s every minute and HE with all his might and attitude, sends Sir.QLC to accompany you in your tough times, to make it even tougher for you.
So, next time, when the hot tea spills over your blue dress and turns it pink with gray dots, you know whom to blame! When your boss slaps you three times and calls you ‘Irrational Mutant’, you know whom to point your finger at! (Err, not to your boss! Keep your disconcerting thoughts away, please!) When the tortured peacock flies over your head and poops on your girl-friend’s head, you know whom to shout at. (Okay, I know the peacock doesn’t fly much nowadays, but getting the point across, is something that I desire!) And finally whenever the tribal people of Greenland come in your dreams, dances with you and beats you to death, you know exactly who in the name of yellow submarines, you are going to hold responsible! So, there you are, now get your smiles back, throw the worries out of the window, and lead a peaceful and beautiful life! Because, simply, there’s nothing wrong with you, you are faultless, you are an ultimate being! Sir.QLC is to be blamed!
As for the rest, if you are having torrid times, blame it on your genes or your neighbor’s irritating German shepherd.
Oh, if you are 25 and you are trying to call your mom now, then the number will be busy, so call later.
P.S: This blog is dedicated to somebody! :)
Ahhh...how about a watch?!
Naah, too common!
A formal shirt?!
Okay, then ahh... a box of chocolates?!
No ways, gimme a break, that's for a kid!
How about a bottle of wine?
He doesn't drink.
Okay, how about a good book, a thoughtful one!?
He doesn't read.
Ahh...then maybe a nice perfume?!
Ohh..No... He smells pretty good.
No. Doesn't convey anything!
A collection of good rock n' roll music from the 70's?!
Ohh...He is more of a Gazaal guy!
A free ticket to Paris and 4 days and 4 nights stay below the Eiffel Tower?!
Ok, I was kiddin'...ahhh...a digicam maybe?!
A charcoal painting of his favorite musician?!
A pink and red-striped tie?! Don't kill me.
I'll give him a dead mongoose rather!
okayy..lemme think... a toiletry bag!?
A 8 gb pen-drive and 2 rechargable batteries?!
I am going to kill you now!
Ok..ok...a hunter air rifle?!
He is against violence.
A stainless steel set of 1 spoon, 4 knives and 3 forks?!
You don't love yourself, right?
Hehe..Ok, yeah, I've run out of ideas, now I'll come up with only such bizzarre stuffs!
Guys are hopeless!