21/01/2009

Ohh Balm Ahh ...Who?! What?!






Well, this is like those status update mails you send to your manager while your watch reminds you that you have just ten minutes left to catch the company bus for home.

This is also probably like one of those flying kites-on-the-moon sagas where you know very well that the kite won’t fly or maybe it would and you would wake up holding your forehead in a bitter hangover. After all, ten bottles of ‘Red Bull’ doesn’t necessary give you the energy to run a 50 KM marathon. A disgusting but highly confusing hangover is a more reasonable after-event. I think you got the point. Or maybe you didn’t. But, that doesn’t make any difference whatsoever to your boring life or to understand this blog.

Okay, what was my intent of writing this blog? Let me get started. Yes, finally!

Ballack Obama! Or whatever his name is, I am not really concerned. I am tired to the point of choking myself to death by inserting the entire Hanging Garden of Babylonia into my mouth. Who the buck is he? No, seriously, is he changing the world? Has he promised to do so? How are you so sure about it? Or even on a more basic level, is he the President of the World or just Ukraine? Or whichever country he belongs to?

My problem lies with these Indians. Okay, okay, ‘we’ Indians! Why the buck are we so concerned about this Osama guy? Err…that was the guy who bombed America and escaped right?! The clever terrorist! I hate the guy. He keeps on coming on television and threatens the Americans openly. Man, isn’t he brave? The confusing thing is, who captures the guy on camera? Why the buck doesn’t he know where he is or where this Osama is? Is he on some expired defective cannabis?

Oops, I am sorry, I diverted myself from that Obama guy. I heard he was good at painting and all, in his childhood days. People say, he is not white, he is coloured, now, whatever that means!

We Indians are so obsessed with the Americans (yeah, I just wikied and updated my knowledge-base). Why are we not bothered about our President? I remember the MTV Roadies Show, where spare one female contestant, none had the faintest idea who our President was. Ask them about America and uhmm…well…they are too dumb to even know that! It is a very strange situation. People all over the country (or is it World?!) getting hyper-excited about this Obama guy becoming President of America and delivering a stellar speech and all. I mean, come on, the Abrahams, Kennedys and Clintons gave stellar speeches. What is the big deal NOW with this guy? Just because he is colored? Can’t we just let it be? Some Bocardo Alfanso Timur Junior from the untamed Amazon Basin can go and become the President of Russia! How does it matter? Don’t we have better things to do? Don’t we have more important things to take care of? Like, say, handling the bomb-blasts situation at Mumbai!

Ohh, an update on that situation! I heard we have taken the ‘samples of those blasts’ into some frozen underground lab at South Pole and covered ‘em with Grizzly bear skins so that they become disgusting for the Pakistanis to steal or even contemplate on stealing. Yeah, that’s about it on that front. We have sent beautiful flowers and greeting cards to our friends at Mumbai and asked ‘em not to fear! ‘Be brave, we are there’, has been the message! Beautiful, moving and very thought-provoking I should say.

Yeah, so that’s about it on the Borat Obama Martins front or whatever his name is!

On a personal front, I’ve been overloaded with truck-loads of work. I need to carry truck-loads of metamorphic rocks from Jaipur to Calicut everyday. Stop staring, it is a stupid metaphor, try to feel my pain!

I seriously need a break. Maybe, a peaceful trip to the Himalayas where I can meditate peacefully while playing Iron Maiden on full blast will really help me! Apart from that, I don’t have anything that will excite you or your dull existence, so you can get back to what you were doing or not doing or trying not to do.

Okay, so who is our president, again?! :)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

This guy is focussed on Indian-ness
http://ambikaz.wordpress.com/

Divs said...

LOL.. :P

Prasanna Venkatesh said...

Ha ha.. too funny!

Indeed i failed to understand the excitement indians get on seeing this obadrama :-s

Life Mysterious said...

Ok, if now I too were to say this was daymn funny then..
..you mite just end up writing another post on why the buck
I said this was funnny like others :P!

Sridevi said...

well, indians are excited abt the americans, cause we want their big projects to be outsourced to us.... every IIT-ian and IIM-ian wants to earn in dollars.... we want the bucking dollar!!! tats wat we care abt dollars, pizza, hollywood.... who dont give a buck about obama.... :)

And yeh quite a depressing write-up, i mean why would u even think about bombay, osama or obama... or indian-ness... are u willing to go to the south pole to dig up the krap... buck it, dont bother... when we have forgotten human-ness who the buck cares about indian-ness

El Furibundo said...

http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1223326

Here's something more for you to chew on, on the way to Calicut!