Fo(u)ragers. Episode 3. Battle Front.

Prazarella: We either make or break in this war?
Sounkuchetsu: What do you want me to make? I can break, yeah, that’s not a problem!
Nuttsville: Is that a Godzilla? Aren’t Godzillas extinct or something? Ok, no, maybe, Water Lily’s are extinct! Or maybe both?
Reneibeizer: I think we should divide ourselves into groups of two and take our positions.
Prazarella: Yes, Sounkuchetsu, follow my lead; we’ll place ourselves over those rocky hills on the Northern Frontier.
Reneibeizer: Yes, that is neat. I’ll accompany Nuttsville and place ourselves on the Southern Slopes.
Sounkuchetsu: Yes, that sounds neat to me too. We’ll break stuffs from there and you guys break some stuffs from here. Or we can change positions too! Or whatever!
Nuttsville: I maybe hallucinating but are you guys really ignorant about the Godzilla? Or maybe I am not hallucinating at all, and you guys are complete idiots.


Prazarella: Nuttsville, we are supposed to hide and fire at anything we see that is moving. That's what the boss has ordered! Do you get me?
Nuttsville: That is fine. But, do you really want me to harm an innocent Godzilla? Even when it is moving? I don’t mind it! No, I mind it!
Prazarella: Oh god! There is no Godzilla! Or Lizards, or even tigers for that matter! We have received orders to kill moving objects and so we shall be doing the same.
Nuttsville: This smell of fresh air is so intoxicating. Can we go to a pub and have beer and tomato sauce or even hamburgers with extra cheese will do? What do you say?
Prazarella: No! No! We are in the middle of a freaking desert, don’t you understand, you moron! Ok, watch, something is moving!
Nuttsville: Where? That’s a leaf! Let me take aim!
Prazarella: Yes, shoot! Shoot hard! Cut it into pieces! You wanna make war, you bas@#$%s! I am gonna break war!


Reneibeizer: Dude, nothings moving! What do we do? I am getting bored. Do we return back when something moves? But, then we’ll miss it when something actually moves! So, we stay!
Sounkuchetsu: You think this weapon is good enough to kill the millions and millions of Persians that’ll attack us? I mean, what if we get exhausted of bullets? Will the Persians take us as slaves? I don’t mind that! But, I want good food and free surfing and downloading!
Reneibeizer: No Persians are attacking us. And moreover, we are not attacking any Persians! Wait, why do you say so? I mean, why did ..no…how did you get that intuition that we might get attacked by Persians?
Sounkuchetsu: I didn’t get no intuition. I know it! They’ll attack! It’s written in my destiny! To get slaved by Persians and eat Mutton by a swimming pool! Isn’t it marvelous?
Reneibeizer: Dude, that is serious! We don’t have time, we need to inform our boss and even let those two idiots on the Northern frontier know about this impending Persian attack. We need to find out ways to counter Elephants! Damn it! We are timing short of run!

Prazarella: This is Captain Prazarella speaking from Northern Frontier? What’s the news from your end? Over and out!
Reneibeizer: This is Reneibeizer speaking, and wait a second, you are no captain! And yes, we are under attack by Persians! Get as many elephant warriors as is possible. We’ll try to stop them by throwing stones or maybe rocks! Over and out!
Prazarella: This is Captain Prazarella speaking! We don’t have no elephants here. Not even ants! We are on a desert for the sake of Buba Bin Bladen! How are we supposed to get those wild animals from Africa?? And are you sure about the Persian attack? What are the odds that you guys can stop them without us getting elephants, not that we can get them anyways!? Over and Out!
Reneibeizer: You are no captain, god dammit! We have already reported boss! He gave his orders pretty clear and straight-forward. We really don’t have time! We need to act fast and clever! Over and Out!
Prazarella: This is Captain Prazarella speaking! What does boss say? Over and Out!
Reneibeizer: You are no captian, you Muscatian mongoose!!! The boss says…”Kill anything that moves” Over and Out!

Fo(u)ragers. Episode 2. In an art gallery

Well, here goes part-2 of the crazy series!
Things will get more and more serious from now on!

Prazarella: "What is this?"
Nutsville: "This is art!"
Prazarella: "I know that! I was wondering what the person actually drew. I can’t figure out."
Nutsville: "If you can’t figure out, how do you know it is art?"
Prazarella: "I just asked because people were admiring it."
Nutsville: "People admire it, doesn’t mean you’ll need to admire it too! People admire killing of pigs. Do you admire it!"
Prazarella: "No!"
Nutsville: "See!"
Prazarella: "No, I mean NO, people don’t admire killing of pigs."
Nutsville: "Some do! But that’s not the point. It’s about art. Admiring it or not admiring it!"
Prazarella: "Do you know what art is?"
Nutsville: "No!"

Reneibeizer: "Look at the brush stroke! It is beautiful!"
Sounkuchetsu: "Yes. No. It is ugly!"
Reneibeizer: "What makes you think it is not beautiful?"
Sounkuchetsu: "I never said it is not! I just said, it is ugly!"
Reneibeizer: "Look at the dark purple shade behind the trees in the midst of a sunset! Beautiful!"
Sounkuchetsu: "Yeah, it is ugly! The shade shouldn’t have been there and it should have been a sunrise."
Reneibeizer: "You are supposed to just admire or not admire the painting! You are not supposed to pass a judgment."
Sounkuchetsu: "Where are the other two?"
Reneibeizer: "I don’t have the slightest of ideas."
Sounkuchetsu: "There they are!"

Prazarella: "Guys, these are some amazing paintings. Aren’t they beautiful?"
Reneibeizer: "From whatever I understand of painting, these are beautiful."
Prazarella: "What do you understand of painting?"
Reneibeizer: "Nothing!"
Nutsville: "I find this a very stupid place. I think we should leave."
Sounkuchetsu: "Yeah, the paintings are ugly. I say this from whatever understanding I have of paintings."
Nutsville: "What do you understand of paintings?"
Sounkuchetsu: "Absolutely Nothing!"
Prazarella: "Let’s meet our friend who organized this art gallery! Donjuang!"
Donjuang: "Alloh Friends! Aoow whas the paintings?"
Prazarella: "They were fantastic!"
Sounkuchetsu: "They were ugly!"
Reneibeizer: "They were meaningful."
Nutsville: "They were like..ahh…not paintings! Fonjuang, were they really paintings?"
Donjuang: "The hame is Donjuang! Yaha, they were the paintings! Why do you say they are not paintings!?"
Nutsville: "Ahh..No! I mean from whatever I understand of paintings, they were not! Nice to meet you Lonjuang!"
Donjuang: "The hame is Donjuang! What do you understand of paintings?"
Nutsville: "Nothing Ongjuang!!"
Prazarella: "We should leave!"

Fo(u)ragers. Episode 1. In a cell

Well, I had released this Shdag (A short-dialogue-based-story) in my internal corporate blogs quite some time back. I forgot to post it here. So, here it goes. It's going to be a series of absolute gibberish. Please bear with it!



Prazarella: "Why are you here?" (Looking at Sounkuchetsu with an inverted S-shaped right eye-brow)
Sounkuchetsu: "Why are you here?" (Not looking at Prazarella, but responding immediately!)
Prazarella: "I asked you the question!"
Sounkuchetsu: "Even I asked you the question!"
Prazarella: "Okay, sorry I asked!"
Sounkuchetsu: "Why are you sorry?"
Prazarella: "I had just asked you, Why are you here?"
Sounkuchetsu: "I did a wrong!"
Nuttsville: * interfering * "How do you know what is right and what is wrong?"
Sounkuchetsu: "I don’t know what is right and what is wrong."
Nuttsville: "Then how can you label your deed as wrong?"
Sounkuchetsu: "I cannot!"
Nuttsville: "But you did!"
Sounkuchetsu: "Yes, because I was wrong!"
Nuttsville: "But, you don’t know what is right and what is wrong?!"
Prazarella: * Cutting Nuttsville short * "Do you know?" (Looking at Nuttsville with an inverted S-shaped left eye-brow)
Nuttsville: "No, I don’t!"
Prazarella: "Why are you here, Nuttsville?"
Nuttsville: "I killed a goat. And I shouldn’t be here!"
Prazarella: "No ways! They won’t put you behind bars for killing a goat."
Nuttsville: "No, they won’t!"
Prazarella: "And what does that mean?"
Nuttsville: "I thought it was a goat! But, it wasn’t. It was a hen."
Prazarella: "No ways! They won’t put you behind bars for killing a hen."
Nuttsville: "No, they won’t! It was a human. I thought it was a hen."
Prazarella: "How can you mistake a human for a hen or a goat for that matter?"
Nuttsville: "No, I didn’t make a mistake. I killed a man! I wanted to kill a man!"
Prazarella: "Then why do you say that you shouldn’t be here?"
Nuttsville: "Because I thought it was a goat!"
Reneibeizer: * gets up from slumber * "Guys, will you keep your mouth shut and let me sleep. I have a war to fight! The Americans are attacking Vietnam and I have to save Vietnam.
I have to win them their country almost single-handedly. I want to earn money!"
Sounkuchetsu: "Why are you fighting them? Are you getting paid?"
Reneibeizer: "No, why will they pay me, I am fighting against them."
Sounkuchetsu: "I meant, are the Vietnamese paying you?"
Reneibeizer: "No."
Sounkuchetsu: "Then how do you plan to earn money from battle?"
Reneibeizer: "I don’t plan to earn money from battle. I want to battle and I want to earn money separately."

Prazarella: "I want to go to battle too."
Reneibeizer: "No, you cannot!"
Prazarella: "Why so?"
Reneibeizer: "Because you are behind bars. You did a wrong. What wrong did you do?"
Prazarella: "I stole brownies from a bakery of a Jew."
Reneibeizer: "Why will they put you behind bars for stealing cakes?"
Prazarella: "I’ve no idea. This is not right!"
Nuttsville: "What do you think is right and what is wrong to you?"
Sounkuchetsu, Prazarella and Reneibeizer: "Shut up Nuttsville!"
Reneibeizer: "Did you charge the owner?"
Prazarella: "No, he is no more!"
Reneibeizer: "What happened to him?"
Prazarella: "He was killed when I was stealing the brownies."
Reneibeizer: "Oh and you were caught! Sad old tale! It is okay, you can fight for it! Relax! Did you see the guy who killed the owner?"
Prazarella: "No. "
Reneibeizer: "But you were there right? How come you missed it?"
Prazarella: "Because I killed him!"
Reneibeizer: "Ohh…Wrong!"
Sounkuchetsu: "Ohh…Wrong!"
Nuttsville: "What do you think is right…
Reneibeizer: *cutting him short * "Nuttsville, don’t make me bite into your left ear!"

PS: This bizarre Episode/Series will continue! Sorry about it!

A momentary lapse of reason!

My flight from Calcutta to Bangalore was at 14:30 hours and I had reached the airport two and a half hours earlier (can’t help it, that’s another story!).

I bed good-bye to my dad, and carried my luggage inside the airport. I was carrying a large traveling bag on my back and a small pitch black leather carry bag in my hand.

Less sleep the previous night resulted in pale red eyes and thanks to corns below my feet, a limp on my left leg was clearly visible. I went about with the routine procedures of checking in then suddenly something hit my mind. Along with quite a few people around me, I found out that the security guards (especially) giving me more than a stare (dat infamous Wait a sec dude-this is fishy stare!) many times. Well, starting to contemplate about the possibilities of such a behaviour clearly an aberration from the normal, I realized that my get-up was to be blamed. Black sun-glasses hanging from the left pocket of my white and blue striped shirt along with the leather bag I mentioned, plus the limp in the left leg and red eyes added to the shadiness of my get-up. A fairly big watch, close-to-unshaved French beard and close-to-uncombed hair did add my woes. I smiled at myself thinking of what else was missing, maybe an ear-ring, a bandana, a silver bracelet or even a black brief case wouldn’t have done much harm.

Somehow, imaginations were running wild inside me and I let ‘em loose.

As I pulled the trigger, getting my .476 Enfield revolver from beneath my shoe-sole, I could see hundreds of people scared and shouting and creating a total chaos. Security guards were thrown into immediate alert and few of them (very few were carrying rifles) started taking positions behind pillars and shouting out “Dude, take it easy”. I made them feel a little disgusted by firing a few more shots in the air, before I took out the Beretta 1918 sub-machine gun. I could hear an emergency siren and people panicking out of the airport, while more security guards come running down and taking positions all around me quite aware of the fact that a psycho serial killer was on the loose.

As I smiled to myself, the lady close to me near the security check felt quite uneasy. That made me smile further so that I could make her further perturbed. It was time for the security check in. As two guys were waiting in front me, something made me impatient and damn, my imaginations went hay-wire again.

Sir, I request you to leave your mobile phone inside your carry-bag before you come for the security check.

Sorry, I refuse to do so; I want to carry my cell-phone with me.

Sir, We are requesting you to do as per instructions

Ignoring the moron, I clicked a particular button on my watch and heard the massive sound of a bomb exploding behind me and sending the whole building into ruptures. I pounced on the guard hitting him with a nearby parcel and started running as I unleashed (from my black leather carry bag) the most lethal weapon in my black Remington 870, a pump-action shot-gun. I let go some shots to throw off quite a few guards while some more chase me to no avail.

“Sir, the checking’s done…u can leave!”

“…….”

“Sir…I said…u can carry on!”

“Oh yeah..yeah…sorry..I was a little..aah..dizzy…uhmm..thanks”

As I walked in front, my sub-conscious mind made me take a glance behind just to check if everything is fine or rather intact.

Another smile fills my face as I take a seat beside that same lady.

The lady picks up her luggage and frantically scurries away to take another seat quite far away from my sight.

I couldn’t refrain myself from laughing before I moved to the next page of Jeffrey Archer’s ‘Honour Among Thieves’ to find out about the Mossad’s agent fate.

A Beautiful Dream


The excessive 'cheer/jeer' sometimes plainly 'deafens' u! 1998, a 15 year old Sounak gets ready to be 'tested' by an elated and confident Arsene Wenger.
Its the 'derby' match between Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur! A 63rd minute injury to Emanual Petit 'forced' Wenger to 'try' me on the pitch. I looked 'up' for a silent prayer and some blessing.
**I could see fairies in denim blue jeans and 'surf white' tops dancing to the tune of Shakalaka boom boom, rubbing mine eyes vigorously i looked down**

The referee took my hand to check if there is anything 'illegal' that i am carrying!
**I felt like kicking him there, then jumping on him flat and grabbing his collar and shouting 'i wanna marry ur daughter', but no i didn't do that**

Touched the ground, prayed and entered Highbury (this was Arsenal's old home ground) amidst rapturous welcome from the 'Gunning' crowd. I was quite unaware of this 'euphoric' mood as i was quite 'new' to the crowd (and even to my team-mates)
**maybe they saw a sticker on my back saying 'Kick me hard, i am a fool',those old cheap pranks played on school kids**

Though Wenger had asked me to play as a Left Attacking midfielder, i went right ahead and played as forward, he kept on shouting at me, 'Kid what the cufk are u doin?'
** I yelled back, u old drunk French hermaphrodite!! Now, go to hell, i won't listen to you, say whatever u want to!! Mocks at him!!**

I gathered a lovely 'thru-ball' from Patrick Vieira and instead of shooting it past the goalkeeper and to the utter amazement and disbelief of the crowd, i started running towards my goal. Every Tottenham soul looked in disbelief and my team-mates looked in horror! i dribbled past David Seaman (Arsenal Goalkeeper) and 'smashed' one into my goal.

**as i ripped my shirt, and started waving aka 'Ganguly-ishtyle-in-Lords', i got smashed/hit by tomatoes and potatoes and even big cabbages, damn, what happened???Why booos??Why aren't anybody coming and congratulating me? I love you people!! I just looouuuveeee u!!! Come, look i have 'scored'!**

**Patrick, my captain comes and slaps me! What have u done, kid?? i slap him back and start running towards the dressing room and i can visualize the whole team escorted by a 'bloody-eyed' Wenger running after me and yes half the crowd is following them**

Child P.S: I can see 13 fingers of mine, while typing and my watch is showing 13 o'clock!

Father P.S: I didn't mean to 'hurt' the shhhentiments of any french lunatic, any Nosal Heshammiya doter or any bengali fan of Dada!!

Grandfather P.S: All (c) Denim Copyrights preserved in a refrigerator! :)