Land-Lords and Terrorists!!

A prelude: I, Tine-e-Quedetich and Harrangues are in the look out for a rented house to stay. Since, myself and Harrangues are busy in some other issues, this Tine-e-Quedetich go and handle issues with our new owner, settles a new agreement with his name on it. He clearly tells the owner that he’ll be staying only for a month or so and will be leaving for higher studies in France. (MS @Grenoble)
Later, I accompany Tine and go and meet the owner. All the agreement and caution deposit issues are settled and the latter paid. The owner leaves for a vacation to Europe that night itself and doesn’t let us know his arrival-to-India date.

Meanwhile: Tine-e-Quedetich had to leave for his home after complications with his company officials. He resigns and leaves for his hometown in West Bengal. He can’t inform the owner because he is not aware of Amsterdam’s best local pub’s contact number or the contact number of the best hotel in Berlin.

Present day: The owner calls me this weekend and asks me for the remaining balance of the caution deposit that we had promised him to pay a month later (and on which he had agreed upon). I respond in the affirmative and he has no problems with it. Now, comes the complicated part. He had called up Tine-e-Quedetich earlier and had come to know that he had left. So, basically he is psyched up. He enquires about my room-mate (we’ll soon come to the nitty-gritty details of this enquiry) and asks me to explain why we didn’t contact him in Europe by using GPS and finding out where he was and fax him based on his location. He asks me for an immediate visit. I leave office at 5 and reach his place at 6:30 or so.

Owner a.k.a Mojerfutharrs.

Mojerfutharrs: Hello, so tell me who is this new guy?
Me: He is not a new guy. You were already aware of him, just that he didn’t meet you in person.
Mojerfutharrs: So that makes him a new guy. How can you let a stranger in my house without my permission?
Me: I was working, I was busy, a short trip to Europe to let you know that Tine had left, was not possible or say, feasible.
Mojerfutharrs: Okays, so who is this guy? What caste he belongs to? He believes in caste system, right?
Me: His forefathers were the ones who created the caste system in West Bengal. He is not only a believer, a follower but a preacher too. He broke his hand, put a cast around it, just to show his deep belief in the caste system.
Mojerfutharrs: Okays, very impressive. He’s never been to prison, right?
Me: He got many offers from the best prisons in India. He rejected all such offers and showed his belief of the LAW, once and for all.
Mojerfutharrs: Good, impressive. He has never raped a girl, right? Or even a man?
Me: No, by god’s grace, No, never! He cried and fasted for four consecutive days once, when he heard that Shamaklal Tihari contemplated on raping a girl but did not do so. He is very sensitive about these issues. Please don’t ask such questions!
Mojerfutharrs: Oh, is it? Very good! Did he ever get abused by anybody?
Me: No, never! But, folklore has it, that his great-great-great-grandfather’s maternal uncle was abducted by a handicapped dumb, deaf and blind alien from Corsotica-546DDQT. The alien might have abused the guy but complete information is/was not available. Folklore has it that his grandson used to have some nightmares, but those died out. My friend never had any problems.
Mojerfutharrs: Good! Very good! Was this guy ever been involved in terrorist activities? Did he ever develop nuclear weapons?
Me: Oh No, never! On the contrary, he had been to Afghanistan to fight terrorism. He is always against terrorism and wanted to show his belief by fighting in the anti-terrorist war.
Mojerfutharrs: Ohh, So did he hurt himself in the war? How was the experience?
Me: Ohh, the experience was good. Just that he could not reach Afghanistan and in stead landed up in Tibet. He got chased by some monks. And thereby, he came back to India, but with newer resolve and deeper belief in terrorism and Buddhism.
Mojerfutharrs: Ohh..uhmm..ok..Good! Does the guy smoke? Is he an alcoholic?
Me: He doesn’t come 100 meters close to any kind of smoke. He hates pollution. He understands Global Warming. He is fighting for that particular cause too. He abhors alcohol. He once wore a black band to office to protest against alcoholism. It is a different story that he lost the black band and broke the ATM machine, but that’s not the point.
Mojerfutharrs: Ohh, that is great.
Me: So, shall we make a new contract? You don’t have any problems with my friend right?
Mojerfutharrs: Hmm..let me think. Meet me tomorrow, I’ll take a decision.