Qutb-ud-din-Aibak

A long, long time ago, in the times of Emperor Qutb-ud-din Aibak, everything was so easy. The emperor lived a tension-free life. He enjoyed his drive down the country-side (I mean, Old Delhi) in his dark red Lamborghini Gallardo. He was a gadget-freak! He had a MS XBOX 360, an i-Phone 3G, an i-Pod Classic, a Sony Cybershot DSC W130 and a time-machine. He was satisfied with what he had. He didn't want more. He practiced 'Slavery' and strongly believed that it was uber-cool, it helped people to become efficient and disciplined. On that point, one Oskar Schindler would have High-Five'd him in some imaginary Historical Time-to-time Continuum.
Qutb had a problem in life. He had a friend who gave him suggestions, regarding most of the decisions he took. Well, the suggestions weren't a problem. The problem was the guy. This guy was called Fillin-deih-eehars Mohammad! FDE Moddy gave suggestions even when he was not asked to! He gave suggestions even when there were no problems discussed with him. He gave suggestions even when he could not give suggestions. He was a give-suggestions-addict! How does one get rid of such people? Qutb had no other options. One night, he sneaked into FDE Moddy's room and stabbed him thirteen times with a fairly long vegetable knife. FDE Moddy died, but before dying he sang a few lines from Iron Maiden's 'Afraid to shoot strangers'. The lines were...
"But how can we let them go on this way?
The reign of terror corruption must end
And we know deep down there's no other way
No trust, no reasoning, no more to say
Afraid to shoot strangers"

Qutb was perplexed about these lines because he listened to Shania Twain and Snoop Dogg all his life. Iron Maiden was not his cup of tea.
Days after the murder, another guy came to meet Qutb, he was called Pleahh-Leehen-tuhh-meah Gurk! This guy wanted to help Qutb. PLT Gukky helped Qutb when he was asked to. He helped Qutb when he wasn't asked to. He helped Qutb when he couldn't help Qutb. Qutb became irritated with this guy. One night, he sneaked into PLT Gukky's room and fired him six shots from his Mark 1 0.50 Desert Eagle semi-automatic pistol. PLT GUkky died, but before dying he sang a few lines from Metallica's newly released 'Unforgiven-III'. The lines were...
"How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
So how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?"

Qutb started realizing and understanding a few common things between the two murders. One day, when Qutb was watching 'The Dark Knight' in his Samsung DVD-player, a guy named Kahein-kahein-seeaye-Jaatein Burbak came and challenged Qutb to an one-on-one battle. Qutb was a bored man, he accepted the challenge. He fought very bravely, lost an eye, but won the battle. He killed the man! KKSJ Burby died, but before dying he sang aloud a few lines from Floyd's immortal classic, which were...

"Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life"

From that day to the day Qutb died, his iPod classic was always filled with Rock Music. He understood it! He felt it! He loved it! He worshipped it!
After his death, his grave read...
"There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And shes buying a stairway to heaven.

PS: The 'Historical facts' mentioned in this blog are utter rubbish. If you believed them, then you are stupid, not me!